Attic Tales

Penis Schmenis: Where the lesbians put the fun in dysfunctional. Continue Reading »

A lovely friend of mine has decided she wants to start dating again. She’s straight so I won’t try to woo her…hmmm…but she didn’t say I couldn’t flirt with her. Sorry. Chasing after straight girls is another column for another time. Where was I? Oh yeah…because my friend doesn’t want to go out to bars and clubs, a few people have recommended she try dating online. I decided to follow her on her journey…you know…for emotional support…and because I take great pleasure in laughing at her. Continue Reading »

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.

The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile.

Patience is passion tamed. Lyman Abbott

Patience is the art of hoping.

Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 18. I should say journals, since there are probably over twenty by now. I’ve lost count. I keep thinking that they’ll be useful if and when I completely destroy my brain cells and need to remember who I am; or I can give them to my goddaughters for when they’re older and they can learn from my “life lessons”. On second thought, I should just burn them. Continue Reading »

Just a short column this week lovely people…the sun is shining and spring has finally sprung…which means in Montreal the terraces are open!

A few of my friends and I were discussing the best and worst songs to play while having sex. Quite frankly, it’s shocking what people will listen to in order to get their mojo-a-gogo. Personally, I can’t have music playing, I find it too distracting…especially if there’s a beat…then I feel pressure to keep up with the rhythm…and as a white girl who can barely dance…I ain’t got no rhythm. Again…I realize confessions like this are why I’m still single. Continue Reading »

On the 31st of March, I celebrated my 14th year of being out. (Did you know they don’t make a card for that?) I’ve been very fortunate to have never had a bad experience when I’ve told people that I’m gay. Maybe it’s because I choose wise friends; or because they really like me; or because they in fact aren’t wise at all which is why they really like me. Hmmm… Continue Reading »

A longtime ago in a land far far away, back when I was young and ignorant, I thought that bisexuality was simply a phase one went through before deciding to be gay or straight. I certainly thought I was bisexual when I was 16, but then at the age of 20, I realized, nope, I was a big ol’ dyke. While I was waiting for bisexuals everywhere to make up their minds like I did, I witnessed a few of my heterosexual friends decide they were gay, and a couple of my homosexuals friends decide they were straight. Left and right, people were changing their minds about whom and what they were. My labels were unlabeling…it’s a word, you can use it. Continue Reading »

I know boys who want to be girls, who act like girls, who fuck boys. I know girls who want to be boys, who still act like girls, who fuck girls. I know boys who are boys who fuck them as well. I know girls who are girls, who like boys and girls, who fuck them both. And I know a few people who can combine all the above but because I’m late with this column, I’ll skip the explanation. Just use your imagination. Continue Reading »

Let’s just be completely honest with ourselves here shall we? I mean you ladies and gents have stuck by me for almost a year…I think we can tell each other the truth by now don’t you? My friends, you and I have co-dependency issues. But just for the record, it’s ok if you’ve become dependent on this website in order to be entertained. I’ll enable you; I promise. Continue Reading »

Penis Schmenis: Where the lesbians put the fun in dysfunctional. For the second week in a row…yet another true story. Continue Reading »

While I was growing up my parents never talked to me about dating boys. In fact, they never gave me any juicy or gory details at all. All I was told was that I needed to be smart, strong, independent, and to never count on a man to support me. I was also taught to be the perfect housewife. With these conflicting messages, it’s funny that my parents are shocked I’m gay. Continue Reading »