Attic Tales

I’ve been so busy with work and cleaning up skeletons in my closet that Attic Tales’ second anniversary was not only completely ignored but also forgotten. Does that mean that writing Mostly Harmless columns has become less important to me? Absolutely not! It just means that I have to cut down on my drin…never mind. Continue Reading »

While I’m not the most successful person when it comes to relationships, I can however boast that I do have thriving friendships…even though I don’t always call you back Carly, or forget your birthday for the first time ever Marlene, or don’t hang out with you enough Mounir…um yeah…thriving friendships…yay me! Continue Reading »

Naggers always know what they are doing. They weigh up the risks; then they go on and on and on until they get what they want or until they get punched. – Jools Holland

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. – Edith Summerskill

I’m currently suffering from one of the worst colds I’ve ever had in my life. While I’m fairly sure the medication I’m ingesting is what is inspiring me to want to own a panda; there’s a distinct possibility that I’ve just finally lost it. Either way, I hope this column is coherent. Continue Reading »

They say that one of the hardest things to do in life is to say you’re sorry. Well whoever they are…they know what they’re talking about…self-righteous know-it-all-bastards. Sorry. Continue Reading »

Well after an incredibly emotional rollercoaster of a month, I’m slowly but surely starting to have some semblance of normal rational feelings again. Not seeing one’s mother for 15 years can certainly take a toll on a person. Of course, seeing one’s mother after 15 years can certainly take an even greater toll…especially when she grabs your stomach and insinuates you’re fat just minutes after getting off the plane. Continue Reading »

Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. –Bhudda-

There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings. –Dorothy Thompson

The only way to tell the truth is to speak with kindness. –Henry David Thoreau-

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. –Virginia Woolfe-

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four; calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg. – Abraham Lincoln -

A few nights ago, a funny woman whom I’m honoured to call my friend, confessed that she was very angry after reading my column We don’t need an Emo Hero. She stated that just because I felt I was speaking the truth didn’t necessarily mean that what I was saying was true. I told her that if I wasn’t proven wrong, I was right, hence speaking the truth. Yeah…I know…I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to other people. Continue Reading »

It was almost midnight fifteen years ago today when I took all the courage I had in the world and came out to my best friends. I can’t explain to you how scared I was. I genuinely feared that the people who meant so much to me would be disgusted and no longer want me in their lives. By the time I was done with my “confession”, I didn’t have anything to worry about; they accepted me for who I was…until they realized that it was now the 1^st of April and they thought I was pulling an April Fools’ Day prank on them. Continue Reading »

Welcome to the ninth edition of You didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway…a Q&A column where for the past few months you’ve been asking me questions pertaining to Montreal, my interfering in strangers’ lives, why I haven’t been updating as much, my webcomic Penis Schmenis, and…Katy Perry. As always, math questions are not welcomed. Continue Reading »

According to Katherine Fugate, whom I wish to be my future wife, we all do what we need to do in order to survive. If you need to play the victim, you play the victim. If you need to play the hero, you play the hero. We all play the roles we need to so we can get out of bed in the morning and face the world…except on Mondays. On Mondays, the world is unfaceable. It’s a word, and you can use it. Continue Reading »