What if the qualities you love in your pet are the same as the ones you’re looking for in a potential partner?
Here’s a harmless observation: there are 2 types of lesbians, the cat lovers and the dog lovers. There’s a third type, the lesbians who don’t love animals at all, but we’ll just say they’re allergic as opposed to being emotionally dead inside.
In my on-going pursuit at attempting to understand what makes a lesbian a lesbian, I have observed over the years, from up close and afar, my friends and lovers interact with their pets. I’ve come to the conclusion that what lesbians are looking for in their animals, whether they’re from the canine or feline species, is also what they’re looking for in a partner.
I realize this may seem very obvious to all of you since we ALL want our pets and girlfriends to be toilet trained but why not delve a bit deeper into this observation? Instead of dating, if you think it’s just easier to go home to your cat or dog, why not take a look at why you love your pet so much? It might help you realize what you want and need in a girlfriend/lover.
For instance, though I don’t hate dogs, I am a cat lover…insert inevitable pussy joke here. Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, let’s get back to why I love cats and apply those qualities to what I’m looking for in a woman:
1. Cats are always licking themselves clean. This means I’m looking for a woman who is not only good with her tongue but also has great hygiene. I’m high maintenance that way.
2. When cats are happy or pissed off, they let me know. This means I want a mate who does not bottle up her emotions.
3. Cats don’t want affection all the time. I don’t want someone who is emotionally needy.
4. I can leave cats alone for a few days without worrying about them. This translates into my partner not needing to see me every day.
5. Cats can entertain themselves with the toys I give them. I’m looking for a lover who can entertain herself with the toys I give her…and maybe me as well.
6. Cats love to nap. On a lazy Sunday afternoon, my potential girlfriend will curl up by my side and take a nap with me.
Now if we take a look at why lesbians love dogs and apply those qualities to what they’re looking for in a woman:
1. Dogs really need you. You want a woman whom will satisfy your craving to be the knight in shining armour or your maternal instincts.
2. Dogs forgive and forget. This means you want a partner who will not only sincerely forgive you but also forget to bring up the very bad things you’ve done in the past when you’re arguing.
3. Dogs love to play. Your potential lover will always be up for adventures.
4. Dogs wag their tail when they are happy. Your mate can’t fake her emotions…or her orgasms either.
5. Dogs will eat what you eat, no guilt trips about getting fat. You want someone who will eat ice cream with you at 2 am, no questions asked.
6. Dogs love a good tummy rub. You want a girlfriend who loves a good tummy rub or a rub anywhere else for that matter.
So next time you are looking for a girlfriend/lover why not remember to look for the same qualities in her that you appreciate in your pet?
Just remember, if your potential new girlfriend is into reptiles, insects, fish or birds, you need to take a serious look at yourself.
Go ahead! I dare you! Leave your comments.
Do you love:
a) dogs
b) cats
c) both
d) if it has fur I won’t touch it
eh!! I’m really allergic to cats and to dogs !! I got clinical test results!! I’m not emotionnally dead inside !!!
If I have a gecko due to my allergies, what is your theory about what I’m seeking in a woman?? Someone who loves to lay down in the sun and have long fingers????