Though at the age of 33 I’m certainly not a senior citizen, I’m not exactly a spring chicken either. In fact, I’m old enough to know that when I hear the words “Me love you longtime”, I know they originally came from the movie Full Metal Jacket and not Nelly Furtado’s song Maneater. Just where am I going with this you ask? I was just wondering if a lesbian predator is the equivalent of a maneater. Yeah…I’m shocked at how my mind works too.
Here’s a mostly harmless stereotype for you: Lesbians are known to be predators. They like to take advantage of young heterosexual women and seduce them. They have a tendency to do this especially when the woman is recovering from a particularly nasty fight with her boyfriend and is at her most vulnerable. I mean who isn’t attracted to a sobbing woman with snot coming out of her nose and complaining about her boyfriend?
Though this is a stereotype, I have to say that in my 13-year stint as a professional lesbian…ok amateur lesbian…I’ve discovered that lesbian predators do exist. However, from what I’ve seen, it’s more about older lesbians preying upon younger naïve lesbians, and less about converting straight chicks to our side of the playing field. That will be my last sport analogy, I promise.
I’m not necessarily against younger and older lesbians dating each other – I myself have been with both – but I do think there’s a limit. I often wonder what’s really going on when there’s more than a 10-year difference, especially when women in their thirties and forties date women in their early twenties.
Now granted, when we fall in love, it’s pretty hard to think on a rational level, especially during the first three months of a relationship. This is why I’ve come up with some basic guidelines for younger lesbians to follow in order to fully comprehend what they’re getting themselves into before even beginning a relationship with an older lesbian. While these tips certainly don’t apply to every single older lesbian in existence, I think they’re food for thought.
Just because she’s older, it doesn’t mean that:
1. She’s mature. Age doesn’t necessarily bring any kind of maturity to anyone. Look at it in terms of a good wine. Some wines do get better with age. However, some can also go sour.
2. She’s a better lover because she’s slept with more women than you. I’ve been with women who’ve had many more sexual experiences than I have and I’ve come to the conclusion that quantity does not equal quality. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if she tells you she’s good in bed, ask for references. Please remember this applies to lesbians of all ages.
3. She’s wiser. Age really has nothing to do with wisdom. You can live a slew of lifetime experiences and still not learn a damn thing. Sad but true.
What you need to remember:
1. She might be set in her ways. The older we get the more we have a habit of well…acquiring habits. It’s hard not to go ballistic when you see your girlfriend not putting the cap back on the toothpaste, or not turning off the lights when she leaves the room, etc. And those are just the little things. What about the big ones? Like her decision not to have any children?
2. The lesbian pool is a small one. It doesn’t matter where you’re from; it’s inevitable that eventually everybody ends up knowing everyone. Ask yourself why this woman is interested in younger women. Is it because she’s annoyed everyone else in her own age group?
3. Her wants and needs might vary from yours. While you’re still cramming for your final exams at university, she’s got 2 degrees and has been working for a number of years. She might not want to go out and party until 2 am. Also, she might want to start a family, like NOW.
I realize that everything I’ve said can be applied to just about anyone, regardless of age. However, if your older lover has a tendency to only date younger women, ask yourself and her, why. Is it because she wants you to love her longtime?
[...] that can take place between an older lesbian and a younger one in my Mostly Harmless column: http://attictales.com/2007/07/21/koo-koo-ka-choo%e2%80%a6or-is-that-your-daughter/. What I want to discuss is why would anyone want to have a Sugar Mama in the first place? After [...]
[...] I stand by what I wrote back in Koo-Koo-Ka-Choo…or is that your daughter? I recognize that I cannot generalize every single time I see an older woman dating a younger [...]