Every week I get a few emails from people asking me advice on various lesbionic topics. They think that because I’m gay, I’m more than qualified enough to answer. So saying, welcome to the very first edition of YOU DIDN’T ASK BUT I’LL TELL YOU ANYWAY: an advice column where you can ask ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING about lesbians and I’ll do my best to answer you…which usually means I’ll be talking out of my ass.
Dear Genevieve,
I can’t find the accent on my keyboard in order to correctly spell your name. Where is it?
Accentless in New York
Dear A,
Um…well that’s not necessarily a lesbian question…but it does involve a lesbian…so I guess it counts…the accent for my name…um…let me look on my keyboard…ok…well…I actually have an e with an accent on it…so I highly recommend you go out and buy one like that.
Dear Geneviève,
My girlfriend and I haven’t had sex in 3 months. Do you think we’re suffering from the dreaded lesbian bed death?
No Mojo in Toronto
Dear NM,
Just to make sure I have all the facts…how long have you been dating?
Dear Geneviève,
Three months.
NM
Dear NM,
Yeah…she’s NOT your girlfriend…she’s your FRIEND. Have you even asked this woman out?
Dear Geneviève,
My girlfriend is still friends with all her exes. Should I be worried?
Ex-envy in Montreal
Dear E-E,
Absolutely not! This is in fact very encouraging. When the 2 of you break up you’ll still be friends.
Well that’s it for this week folks. Don’t be shy, send me your questions @ g_grenier@hotmail.com with the heading: YDA questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them every week. I promise you I will NOT be using your real name NOR posting your email address.
Dear Genevière,
When are you gonna get a line where we can call late at night?
AHA was so good to see you yesterday! Take care and see you around
Now there’s an idea! a dr. ruth-type hotline, then you can get your own show with your sex toys on it