So you’re in relationship, you’re madly in love, you feel like this woman is your soul mate and you’re ready to move in together…and you’ve only been dating for three months. Congratulations! You’re a U-Haul lesbian!
Here’s a mostly harmless question for you: is it really necessary to cohabitate with the one you love? A few months ago, I was hanging out with some new Chouettes Coquettes gals: http://www.chouettescoquettes.com/ and I was being asked the typical questions lesbians ask one another when they’ve just met:
1. Are you out to your family?
2. Do you have a girlfriend?
3. Are those real? (I slipped that one in just to see if you’re paying attention.)
4. How long have you been dating?
5. Do you live together?
When I replied no to the last question I was then asked if I loved my girlfriend. I was shocked at first and then just incredibly amused. One of the biggest stereotypes about lesbians is that we take forever to ask someone out and then make up for lost time by moving in together on the third date. I realize I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know and I also realize that not every lesbian does this. However, I think it’s time we analyze why a lesbian’s urge to merge is so strong.
I have a theory that some of us may be carriers of a U-Haul gene that dates back to prehistoric times. Yes, lesbians existed back then but before you log on to my new column, You didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway, http://attictales.com/category/you-didnt-ask/ to ask me how I know this is true, I will emphatically state, right off the bat, that I’m not doing any research on this matter.
So…where was I? Oh yes…back in the days of the Neanderthals, when all the men folk were out hunting or being hunted by the Tyrannosaurus Rex, the women folk were totally hooking up. It got cold and lonely in those caves, not to mention that it was dangerous sleeping alone at night. Women had to deal with sabre-toothed tigers and pterodactyls, none of which were ready to become house pets.
Now don’t get me wrong, the cave lesbians weren’t getting together just out of necessity. They were indeed pining and lusting after one another. After all, what’s not sexy about a big forehead? I ask because I have one myself.
Millions of years later, though we’ve supposedly evolved, we still have attraction, lust and love contributing to our U-Haul DNA and motivating us to move in together. However, is the necessity still there? Financial reasons are always given as one of the reasons for people to cohabitate. However, why not find a roommate instead of a lover to help pay the rent?
Low self-esteem is another factor that seems to drive two lesbians to live under one roof. Some of us are so desperate not to be alone, that we’ll take the first lesbian that comes along, even if she’s wrong for us. However, if you don’t feel good about yourself you shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with.
So if you do have the U-Haul gene, is it completely impossible to fight the urge to merge? Of course not! Just ask yourself some basic questions as to why you want to move in so quickly with your brand new lover:
1. Before I met my girlfriend, was I a happy person?
2. Am I expecting my girlfriend to make me happy?
3. Are those real? (Just making sure you’re still paying attention.)
4. Am I moving in with my girlfriend simply because of financial reasons?
5. If we wait a year before moving in together, will this have a negative impact on my life and our relationship? If yes, why?
We don’t have to worry about sabre-tooth tigers and pterodactyls anymore. Our caves are nice, warm, safe and as messy or as clean as we want them to be. If you and your new girlfriend are madly in love with one another after just 3 months…why not wait to see just how madly in love you’ll be in 3 years? Then make the decision to move in together. Sure, U-Haul will go bankrupt but at least your relationship won’t.
