Let’s just come right out and admit that sometimes we’re not the best girlfriends in the world. There will be days where we’re bitchy, irrational, and uncompromising. We’re only human. It happens. However, the key to being a better girlfriend is not only to stop behaving badly, but to fully understand why we’re acting this way.
Last week, I introduced you to two types of girlfriend: the knight in shining armour and the doormat: http://attictales.com/2007/09/08/what-type-of-girlfriend-are-you-part-one/. If you didn’t recognize yourself in either type, that’s ok, I’ve got three more for you. I’m sure you’re sighing with relief.
You love your girlfriend so much you want to be with her 24/7. You feel anxious and lost when she’s not around and insanely happy when she is. You get extremely upset when she wants to go out with her friends and leave you behind. In this case, quantity is better for you than quality.
Why are you behaving this way? I know this is going to sound harsh but I stand by this next sentence. You don’t have a life and you’re depending on your girlfriend to give you one. If you’re focusing so much on your partner, this means you’re neglecting not only yourself, but your family and your friends. You’re imposing a HUGE responsibility upon your girlfriend to not only take care of herself but you as well. It could also mean that you’re very insecure. If that’s the case, talk to your partner as to why you feel so emotionally needy. Are you jealous and lacking confidence in the relationship? If so, why?
Remember, quality is always better than quantity, unless of course you’re getting quality and quantity; that’s the best. Lucky bitches. Wait…what was I talking about?
The control freak:
You’re telling your girlfriend how to cut vegetables, how to fold her clothes, what books to read, and which friends to hang out with when she’s not with you.
Why are you behaving this way? You feel so bad about yourself that you need to feel superior and tell your partner that EVERYTHING she does isn’t good enough. If your girlfriend is happy with the way she lives her life, and it’s not hurting you in any way, you need to back off, focus on yourself, and regain control of your life. What attracted you to your girlfriend in the first place if all you want to do is change her?
However, if she still insists on not hanging up the towels after a shower…dump her ass. Mouldy towels are relationship breakers.
The black cloud:
You can’t say anything good about your work, your family, your friends, and your life in general. You constantly complain and depend on your girlfriend to listen to every negative detail of your day. Even when she presents a more positive outlook on things, you still refuse to acknowledge the good aspects that do exist in your little world.
Why are you behaving this way? Sometimes we’re really comfortable with our misery. To change our attitude requires drastic changes in the way we live our life. It’s a lot easier to just complain rather than take action. When you go to bed at night, close your eyes and try to think of all the things, no matter how small, that make you grateful to be alive. Focus on these every day. If you can learn to be grateful for what you have, you’ll be able to truly appreciate how fortunate you really are and recognize the good with the bad.
I realize I’m over simplifying the situation. If you’ve been feeling down not just for days, but weeks and months, perhaps you’re depressed. Why not see your doctor or a therapist and talk about how you feel? Your girlfriend can’t help you if you don’t help yourself first.
This concludes the types of girlfriend I’ve discovered over they years. Perhaps you have your own types? Don’t be shy. Let me know about them. In the meantime, why not answer this quiz to see where you stand on the five variables of love when it comes to relationships: