Hi, my name is Geneviève and I’m a flirt. I can’t help myself. There’s just something about flirting that has me completely addicted. The problem is, it sometimes gets me into trouble.
Here’s a mostly harmless story for you: Two years ago, I was eating at a restaurant with a few of my badminton buddies. We were discussing monogamy in relationships and I admitted that I would be uncomfortable cheating on a girlfriend with one-night stands. I just re-read that sentence. Really, I would be uncomfortable cheating on a girlfriend period…but a one-night stand really isn’t my thing. To my shock and dismay, one of the women at the table was extremely surprised by my answer, exclaiming: “But you’re such a flirt!”
I can’t really defend myself. I’m so enthusiastic about flirting that I even flirt with men. I realize I’m losing lesbian street cred by admitting that, but I also flirt with straight girls, lesbian couples and elderly ladies who may or may not be actual grandmothers. Does that balance things out?
Maybe it’s because I’m in public relations that I know how to talk pretty to people. But truthfully, I just like making people feel good about themselves. I think it’s a great boost to someone’s self esteem when I sincerely say they look great in what they’re wearing, or compliment them on their eyes, their hair, their smile, etc.
There’s another positive aspect to flirting. It’s not just fun, but it’s safe. Regardless of whether or not I’m in a relationship, I love the fact that there’s no commitment that comes with flirting. I can give a person a compliment and walk away with no strings attached. But what happens when the compliment is misinterpreted as meaning something more?
Ah…this is where I get into trouble.
I sometimes take flirting a bit too far. It’s one thing to be verbally flirtatious, but things can move to a whole new level when I begin to touch flirtatiously. Whether it’s a hand or arm squeeze, or just a quick, gentle caress on a thigh, it’s very easy to read more into a touch than a simple: “Wow, those boots of yours really kick ass!”
To avoid any misunderstandings, not to mention big burly butches who think I’m hitting on their girlfriends, I tend to follow a few basic rules when I’m “flirmancing” someone:
1. If you flirt with someone in a couple, make sure you know that the couple isn’t experiencing any problems. You don’t want to aggravate the situation. It’s better to avoid insecure and jealous partners.
2. Another option is to flirt with both people equally. However, be prepared to get asked for a ménage à trois.
3. If you suspect the person you’re flirting with is interested in you but the feelings are not mutual, do not continue. You’re just leading the person on.
4. Unless the person has said something raunchy to you, make sure you’re not saying anything overtly sexual. You could really make the person uncomfortable.
5. Don’t drink and flirt. Drinking lowers a person’s inhibitions, and you might take a simple moment of flirting to the next level when you weren’t emotionally prepared to do so.
So tell me…do you ladies have any mostly harmless flirting techniques?
Just we when we dish it back to you
A huge big smile while looking into someone’s eyes. If intensely enough you’re sure to make them read and wonder — but then again they might think they’ve got something stuck between their tooth so use carefully and be prepare to answer (or smile and maintain eye contact) when asked why you are smiling.