• Mostly Harmless

    Posted on January 27th, 2008

    Written by GSGrenier

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    We’ve all tried at some point in time to pick up a woman by pretending to be suave and debonair. And if you’re as clumsy as I am, you’ve probably failed miserably. (Please note if you’re already suave and debonair, this column isn’t for you…oh…and I hate you.)
     
    Here’s a mostly harmless observation for you: lesbians don’t really have their own pick-up lines. I could be wrong mind you, but I’ve been doing some research, and by research I mean 15 minutes of browsing the internet. I haven’t really found anything related to what successful lines lesbians use to pick up the chicks. Instead, I’ve had to read what straight men say to pick up the ladies and let me tell you, it’s not pretty.

    Pick-up lines can be put in various categories. They range from being vulgar, cheesy, or super cheesy. Being a big fan of vulgarity and cheesiness myself, I decided a few weeks ago to steal from the straight boys and tweak their pick-up lines just a smidge. However, there was no way in hell that I was going to say them out loud, so I’ve been putting the lines on t-shirts. I’m bold and brave that way.

    Here then are a few of my favourites in no particular order:

    1. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.
    2. I taught your girlfriend that thing you like.
    3. Come for the boobs, and stay for the brains.
    4. Stand still so I can pick you up.
    5. I like girls who lick girls.
    6. Let me help you find your G-spot.
    7. Kiss me. I dare you.

    So…do you ladies have any favourites?

    This entry was posted on Sunday, January 27th, 2008 at 10:49 pm and is filed under Mostly Harmless. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • 0 Comments

    Take a look at some of the responses we've had to this article.

    1. Art
      Jan 28th

      Being one of the few men to brave these waters I will ad my fave:

      You must wear large gloves…

    2. Mélanie
      Jan 28th

      I love #4 and #7.

      I’ve heard this one lately from “The Pick Up Artist” (you can google) which goes along these lines:

      1) Approach attractive ladeeeh
      2) Look geeky and serious
      YOU: Research says that 98% of women sing while taking a shower while the remaining 2% masturbate. Do you know what they sing?
      HER: No… *smiles*
      YOU: Well you must be part of that 2%
      HER: *Laughter*

    3. Calou
      Jan 29th

      option 1 (sweet.cheese):
      YOU: What do you eat for beakfast?
      HER: blablabla (food)
      YOU: Great! I have some at my place

      option 2 (direct)
      YOU: Nice shoes; (short.silence); Wanna fuck?

    4. Lesbian Librarian
      Jan 29th

      A few years ago I saw a T-shirt at Pride that to this day I regret not having gotten… It read:

      FBI: Female Body Investigator

      It’s reunited my crush on Dana Scully. *sigh*

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