Attic Tales

Just a short column this week lovely people…the sun is shining and spring has finally sprung…which means in Montreal the terraces are open!

A few of my friends and I were discussing the best and worst songs to play while having sex. Quite frankly, it’s shocking what people will listen to in order to get their mojo-a-gogo. Personally, I can’t have music playing, I find it too distracting…especially if there’s a beat…then I feel pressure to keep up with the rhythm…and as a white girl who can barely dance…I ain’t got no rhythm. Again…I realize confessions like this are why I’m still single.

Here’s a mostly harmless anecdote for you: The first time I had sex with music playing in the background was with my first girlfriend…we were experiencing some major problems in the relationship…I thought we were in one…and her not so much. Anyway, the song that was playing was Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton. Saddest. Song. Ever. Right after Puff the Magic Dragon of course. Anyway, the song hit too close to home and I interrupted the sex in order to process my emotions. Yes, I’m a Lesbian with a capital L.

Here’s another mostly harmless anecdote for you: Back in New Brunswick, my neighbours who lived upstairs from me would have sex every morning at precisely 6:30…with the same song playing over and over again: Jon Bon Jovi’s Bed of Roses, accompanied by the squeakiest squeaks from their mattress. Every time I hear it, I still impulsively look for a pillow to put over my head.

So saying, here are a few songs that I think would be great for makin’ ze love:

1. Emotional Rescue by The Rolling Stones
2. The Whisper Song by Ying Yang
3. Only Time by Enya
4. Black Black Heart by David Usher
5. Ooh La La by Goldfrapp
6. I Would Be Your Man by The Odds
7. My Phone’s On Vibrate For You by Rufus Wainwright
8. Kiss From A Rose by Seal
9. Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
10. Tandem by Vanessa Paradis

So tell me people, what are some of your favourites?