“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Henri Bergson
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr
I hate change. I always have. I’m mighty comfortable in my box. After all, I’m its creator, its decorator, and its sole…um…occupator…sorry about that…I needed to rhyme. I feel safe in my box. I very rarely want to leave it, even when it makes me miserable. I’ve noticed when I’ve had to make any kind of major change that forces me outside the confines of my box, I’m terrified. However, I’ve also noticed that when I do overcome my fears and exit my box, my life becomes infinitely better…despite causing me to have the runs.
Here’s some mostly harmless psycho babble for you: My box is created by routines and habits I have consciously and unconsciously acquired over the years. They may have served me well in the past, but now they’re holding me back from being the BEST ME I can be. I’ve allowed these daily practices to determine what I can and cannot do, and consequently, I sometimes find myself in an emotional rut…which I mistake for a comfort zone…which is conveniently situated six feet away from my 42 inch flat screen tv.
On more than one occasion, during a few of my aforementioned ruts, the Universe, seeing that I wasn’t going to take any responsibility for turning my life around, took matters into Its own hands and forced me to vacate my box. A few years ago, when I was working in Ottawa, Canada’s capital, I was very unhappy at work. Instead of trying to find a new job, I just became more and more despondent, until the day I got laid off due to downsizing. I was the only person who left the building with a smile.
There was also another time, a little over a year ago, when I was increasingly unhappy in a relationship. I didn’t have the heart to break up for fear of making the gf even more depressed. Fortunately, she finally realized she needed to make herself happy and left me instead. I was relieved, despite once again being obliged to leave my box.
When I look back at these moments in my life, I realize I squandered a lot of precious time being miserable when AT ANY SECOND I could have left my box of my own volition. Once again fear played a huge role in preventing me from making any significant changes. Well…I blame fear but the reality was that I was my own worst enemy.
I’ve come to realize that what stops me from leaving my box and making changes is that I’m afraid of the consequences of my actions, whether I’m scared to leave a girlfriend for fear of hurting her, or afraid to leave my job and not finding a better one…whatever the situation…I’m always afraid the change will be WORSE than the REALITY…which is of course a bunch of POPPYCOCK…teehee…that’s a funny word.
A few years ago, I had a breast cancer scare. It made me realize just how incredibly precious life can be. I decided that no matter how afraid I was to make any major changes in my life…I would do it anyway…because it couldn’t possibly be any scarier than the lumps I had found in my left breast.
While I’m certainly not going to lie to you and say I’ve conquered my fears and destroyed my box, I can honestly tell you that I’m very aware that my box exists and how I feel in it. When I’m miserable…for whatever reason…I give myself a stern talking and tell myself that life is far too short for me to be unhappy for any extended period of time.
When you look back at the negatives times in your life, what inspired you to make the necessary changes to make your life better?
• Was it a loss of some sort?
• Were you protecting yourself?
• Was it pride?
• Was it boredom?
• Was it because you were convinced it was for the best?
• Was it because you did not care about the consequences?
• Was it because you were suffering from the consequences of your inaction?
• Was it because you didn’t have a choice?
What it comes down to is trusting in the Universe…and if you’re not a spiritual person…at the very least…trust in yourself more than anything or anyone else. If you can trust in both, that’s even better. Believe it or not, you know what’s best for you…even if in the past you’ve made the worst decisions in the world…you have the ability to know what is RIGHT for you and make your life infinitely better…despite the fact you might get the runs.
Awww, the right post at the right moment again !
Think I just took the first step to jump out of mine. Thanks a lot.
I definitely believe that if nothing else, everything happens for a reason. If you don’t listen to what your soul is telling you, it will keep telling you, again and again until you listen. When I was very unhappy in my career, I wouldn’t leave – pride, felt I didn’t have a choice, fear were all a factor, but my soul simply wouldn’t let me continue in a career that was destroying me. It took a major depression for me to finally come to my sessions, but I know look back and realize that it all happened for a reason. It was the best thing for me (the career change I mean), but I just wouldn’t listen to myself without the depression.
‘If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right. ‘ – Henry Ford
[...] outside your box. I’ve discussed this in one of my columns before, http://attictales.com/2008/07/14/pooping-outside-your-box/, but I think it bears repeating. Don’t be afraid to try new things. The more you’re afraid, the [...]