We all want and deserve to have nice people in our lives but in this day and age, what does NICE really mean? For example, if you say you’re attracted to any woman who smells nice, that could mean she reeks of vanilla mint orange blossoms, or whatever girly girl fragrance you’re into. As for me, it could mean I’m drawn to any female who gives off a whiff of black felt markers and gasoline…
Here’s a mostly harmless activity for you: One of the ways I judge a woman on her niceness is by how she acts in a restaurant. I feel that a lot of important traits manifest themselves in this type of setting. These traits, according to Gary Chapman’s book, Love as a way of life, are what make for a nice and loving human being:
- Kindness
- Patience
- Forgiveness
- Humility
- Courtesy
- Generosity
- Honesty
How do these characteristics apply to having supper in a restaurant you ask? Indulge me a bit…I’ll show you. Imagine if you will that I’m out to supper with a stunning brunette with a great pair of…eyes:
- Will she ask me where I want to sit when we arrive at the table? If yes, I check my list for courtesy.
- If there’s a pitcher of water, will she pour me a glass before she pours herself one? If so, I check my list for humility.
- If the service is slow due to the restaurant being crowded, will she lose her temper or stay calm? If the latter, I check my list for patience.
- If the service and food were lousy, will she give the restaurant a second chance? If yes, I check my list for forgiveness.
- If the waiter makes a few mistakes and is apologetic, will she be understanding? If so, I check my list for kindness.
- If the waiter asks for feedback, will she be frank but diplomatic? If yes, I check my list for honesty.
- Will she offer to pay the bill? If so, I check my list for generosity.
Now as always, I know I’m being over-simplistic. However, I do feel that when we take the time to truly observe how people behave in every day situations, it gives us an accurate impression of which of their traits are the strongest, and which ones they still need to work on.
So saying, perhaps you don’t agree with these traits at all? Do you have a few to add? Maybe some have more importance over others? What is your definition of NICE?
Ummmm on a first date I’d pass that test. Once we were together a while though — well then it’s on.
I’d add “fair” a.k.a. She cuts her dessert in half so you two can share it.
Hah. I would fail courtesy and forgiveness instantly. And if someone offered to pay the bill that early in a relationship I would be suspicious that she was trying to in-debt me to her and trade in on it later, meaning I would also fail whatever category ‘always assumes good of people’ falls into.
And I have to admit I don’t see what pouring water has to do with humility; to me that falls under courtesy as well (and that I would definitely pass).
To me, someone who is a very nice person is someone to be wary of for ulterior motives. I guess I have to work on my cynisism.
I agree with fairness…that’s a fantastic trait to have.
As for the humility part…I was stretching a bit I must confess…I was going for putting others before yourself kind of thing.:) And yes, you do have to work on your cynicism…but then again…don’t we all?