Welcome to You didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway. A column where you get to ask me personal questions about my life and then realize you wish you hadn’t. This week I answer your emails pertaining to polyamory, why my love life sucks, and celibacy.
Dear Genevieve,
Are you still polyamorous? My wife and I are looking for a third person to join our happy family. We’ve been reading your columns since the beginning, and we both feel you share the same values as we do so we’d get along really well. Plus, we think you’re really sexy.
Three isn’t a crowd in Toronto
Dear Three,
*blush* *blush* *giggle* *giggle* but no. Thanks anyway. While my brief stint in poly land was invaluable, helping me realize I’ve overcome a lot of my insecurities, it also confirmed that I’m a one gal at a time kind of gal. Besides, you need to remember that I don’t divulge everything about myself in my columns…there’s a whole slew of things about me that I’m sure would make you change your mind about adopting me into your family. For example, I like to walk around naked with my socks still on. Got a visual? Changed your mind? I understand.
Dear Genevieve,
You seem like someone who really works hard at keeping her shit together. You do a lot of self-analysis, aren’t afraid of accepting responsibility when you’ve fucked up, and honestly communicate what’s going on in your head and your heart…so how come your love life sucks? If you can’t find love, what chance do we have?
Sucker in San Diego
Dear Sucker,
Again, please remember I don’t divulge everything about myself in my columns. While I’m happy with the progress I’ve made in the past few years for becoming a happier healthier ME, I don’t always have my shit together.
As for my love life sucking, well…as my friend Laura once told me…every woman I date prepares me for the next one. I’m confident I will one day find love…and so will you…just don’t walk around the house wearing only socks….otherwise you really won’t have a chance.
Dear Genevieve,
How long have you been celibate again? I’m going on 3 months and it’s driving me crazy. How do you cope?
Horny as hell in Nevada
Dear Horny,
It’s been 604 800 minutes…but who’s counting? I’m going through this dry spell because I’m being punished for a lie I told back in my early twenties. I convinced a fellow student that her hymen would grow back after a year of celibacy. What did you do?
Try not to see celibacy as a bad thing…just because you’re not having sex with someone doesn’t mean you can’t have sex in your life. Find fun ways to get yourself off:
· Buy new toys.
· Read erotica.
· Discover new porn sites.
· Go to workshops and learn new sexual practices.
· Be open to new experiences.
But please again people, I can’t stress this enough…don’t walk around the house naked with your socks on…you’ll never get laid that way.
