I’m sick and tired of lesbian drama. I’m particularly sick and tired of lesbian players who claim to love women while using and abusing them. I’m especially sick and tired of lesbians behaving badly. And the worst part in all of this? I think deep down I wish I could behave badly too…so maybe I’m not sick and tired…but just jealous. Ok…I’m definitely sick too.
Here’s a mostly harmless wish for you: I wish there were times where I could completely turn off my brain and allow my libido to be in charge. I wouldn’t have to think about anyone’s hurt and rejected feelings, or the fact that I’m being a bitch. I wouldn’t have to think of the ramifications of my actions in the lesbian community, or the negative impact my infamous deeds would have on my reputation. I wouldn’t have to focus so much on taking care of myself because I would be indifferent about having an unhealthy destructive attitude in the way I live my life.
I wouldn’t care because I would be too busy having fun. With my LIBIDO as the LEADER of ME, I could go down in a blaze of glory…or at the very least have my NONO parts feel like they’re on fire. Wait…I should care about that last part.
Forgive me ladies and few gents, I’m a bit disgruntled today. Not to mention that I fear I’m sounding whiny. I offer you my sincerest apologies. After many years of observing lesbians, I’m still flummoxed with lesbian behaviour, including my own.
I’m not going to lie to you. Here’s the truth: I’m horrible when it comes to flings, one night stands, booty calls, and being a friend with benefits. In fact, I’m so bad at flings, one night stands, booty calls, and being a friend with benefits that I’ve never even gone through with having flings, one night stands, booty calls, and being a friend with benefits. I’m using repetition as a dramatic effect this week since our budget for special effects has been cut.
Some lesbians are able to sleep around, others are not. As stated previously, I fall into the latter category. I just don’t know how to have casual sex with anyone without any emotional entanglements, especially if I know I’m going to be seeing the person again. If I have trouble being in the same room as an ex-girlfriend, I know it would be torturous being in the near vicinity of a fling.
I think I’d be able to get away with flinging with someone if I was on a trip to another country and we didn’t speak the same language. I’m convinced that’s what’s making me cynical about love…being able to understand what the other person is saying.
One of my many weaknesses when it comes to women is that I find their intellect a huge turn-on. I’m a sucker for brainy chicks. The more a woman stimulates me intellectually, the more I have a tendency to be attracted to her. The catch is that once my brains are aroused, I can’t help but to start having feelings for her. And since I have feelings for her, I can’t possibly fling…which brings me back to how my libido should be the one in charge.
I think my reluctance about flinging stems from equating it to being superficial…and I’m only superficial when it comes to my hair, my feet, and leather jackets.
What say you lovely readers? How does one fling without emotionally investing one’s self? Is it really all fun and games, or are there genuine consequences on a short term and long term basis? Can one fling and still be respectful towards women and one’s self? Maybe if I want to behave badly I should just go and rob a bank…you’ll be my alibi right?
I’d say.. read “The Ethical Slut,” a book recommended by the young and gorgeous lady I met last year around this time – remember sugarmamering – however we spelled that.
It’s about polyamory but I think it will help understand “flings” as well..
Sometimes I would be very attracted to a lady, and it just wouldn’t click.
Sometimes I would be very in need and not so attracted, I’ve learned that these nights would never be very satisfying in the end…
I used to be attracted and fall in love (or lust?) but still keep looking around, flirting around.. until last April when I met someone special.
I flirted with other girls but couldn’t go any further, it just didn’t feel right and I couldn’t help but think of HER and want HER.
I’ve never experienced that before, so I don’t know..
Hope that helps, let me know what you think if you read the book
Well, if you wanted to see if a new local would help, when you are next down in my neck of the country – go and try then – you won’t see them again!
But on a more serious note, if it’s decided upon by both parties that it is what it is (a fling, a one night stand) then why need it be more complicated… Also, remember that you are not responsible for the feelings of others – only yourself. If you act with honesty and integrity in your actions (never pretending or promising more than you are or want) then how can anyone be angry with you?
Oh, my dear, I know your pain and send warm fuzzies your way.
You and I have similar traits. I think we differ in that I HAVE attempted the flings much more often than your greatness enables.
I’ve found that the best flings(The ones that don’t leave us huddled in a dark corner wishing for a quick end to all things) have always been the ones where my libido WASN’T the one in charge. When I found I was most relaxed and aware of my surroundings (and the people in them). It was at these times that I could enjoy another person for a short time and not feel like some primordial urge was forcing me towards the club I keep at the opening of my cave. By allowing myself to relax, she would relax(I think Cesar Milan explains it best, just watch The Dog Whisperer and every time he says the word “Dog” replace it with “Human”) and then the moment would happen all by itself… and she would pass ME the club as we entered the cave. The next day would be fine and I would be fine and life would go on.
I feel that women who do abuse other women in these situations aren’t relaxed. They exused sex(don’t get me wrong, I like the vibe), but it doesn’t come with any security. And it sounds to me like you like security.
So, buck up young hotty. Let go of your worry and fear. Those are the ways to the dark side. You just might find that you can enjoy the moment more by letting it happen.
xo
Lesbian Librarian is correct too. go visit her. Or me! we’ll get ya sum yeehaw!
I’ve found that the only time I can pull off “unattached” sex is during lesbian bed death (the last 6 years of my last 12 year relationship).
I could have sex and felt nothing — but I think I had already died in certain places.
Otherwise — I did get attached.
You will get to a point where the drama will cease. I never thought it’d happen… but now we have zero. And it’s sweet.
I probably should give the caveat that I have been with the same woman for 12+ years and we still have great sex (for real!). The only fling I ever had was with a boy/man when I was 15 and I def walked away disgusted with the situation. It’s easy for me to give advice.