Comments on: Flinging away the fling http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/ Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:03:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Lesbian Librarian http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1338 Lesbian Librarian Fri, 17 Oct 2008 23:22:52 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1338 I probably should give the caveat that I have been with the same woman for 12+ years and we still have great sex (for real!). The only fling I ever had was with a boy/man when I was 15 and I def walked away disgusted with the situation. It's easy for me to give advice. I probably should give the caveat that I have been with the same woman for 12+ years and we still have great sex (for real!). The only fling I ever had was with a boy/man when I was 15 and I def walked away disgusted with the situation. It’s easy for me to give advice.

]]> By: Tina-cious.com http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1337 Tina-cious.com Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:45:13 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1337 I've found that the only time I can pull off "unattached" sex is during lesbian bed death (the last 6 years of my last 12 year relationship). I could have sex and felt nothing -- but I think I had already died in certain places. Otherwise -- I did get attached. You will get to a point where the drama will cease. I never thought it'd happen... but now we have zero. And it's sweet. :D I’ve found that the only time I can pull off “unattached” sex is during lesbian bed death (the last 6 years of my last 12 year relationship).

I could have sex and felt nothing — but I think I had already died in certain places.

Otherwise — I did get attached.

You will get to a point where the drama will cease. I never thought it’d happen… but now we have zero. And it’s sweet. :D

]]> By: "Official" Moncton Lesbian http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1336 "Official" Moncton Lesbian Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:00:49 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1336 Lesbian Librarian is correct too. go visit her. Or me! we'll get ya sum yeehaw! Lesbian Librarian is correct too. go visit her. Or me! we’ll get ya sum yeehaw!

]]> By: "Official" Moncton Lesbian http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1335 "Official" Moncton Lesbian Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:43:01 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1335 Oh, my dear, I know your pain and send warm fuzzies your way. You and I have similar traits. I think we differ in that I HAVE attempted the flings much more often than your greatness enables. I've found that the best flings(The ones that don't leave us huddled in a dark corner wishing for a quick end to all things) have always been the ones where my libido WASN'T the one in charge. When I found I was most relaxed and aware of my surroundings (and the people in them). It was at these times that I could enjoy another person for a short time and not feel like some primordial urge was forcing me towards the club I keep at the opening of my cave. By allowing myself to relax, she would relax(I think Cesar Milan explains it best, just watch The Dog Whisperer and every time he says the word "Dog" replace it with "Human") and then the moment would happen all by itself... and she would pass ME the club as we entered the cave. The next day would be fine and I would be fine and life would go on. I feel that women who do abuse other women in these situations aren't relaxed. They exused sex(don't get me wrong, I like the vibe), but it doesn't come with any security. And it sounds to me like you like security. So, buck up young hotty. Let go of your worry and fear. Those are the ways to the dark side. You just might find that you can enjoy the moment more by letting it happen. xo Oh, my dear, I know your pain and send warm fuzzies your way.

You and I have similar traits. I think we differ in that I HAVE attempted the flings much more often than your greatness enables.

I’ve found that the best flings(The ones that don’t leave us huddled in a dark corner wishing for a quick end to all things) have always been the ones where my libido WASN’T the one in charge. When I found I was most relaxed and aware of my surroundings (and the people in them). It was at these times that I could enjoy another person for a short time and not feel like some primordial urge was forcing me towards the club I keep at the opening of my cave. By allowing myself to relax, she would relax(I think Cesar Milan explains it best, just watch The Dog Whisperer and every time he says the word “Dog” replace it with “Human”) and then the moment would happen all by itself… and she would pass ME the club as we entered the cave. The next day would be fine and I would be fine and life would go on.

I feel that women who do abuse other women in these situations aren’t relaxed. They exused sex(don’t get me wrong, I like the vibe), but it doesn’t come with any security. And it sounds to me like you like security.

So, buck up young hotty. Let go of your worry and fear. Those are the ways to the dark side. You just might find that you can enjoy the moment more by letting it happen.
xo

]]> By: Lesbian Librarian http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1334 Lesbian Librarian Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:23:14 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1334 Well, if you wanted to see if a new local would help, when you are next down in my neck of the country - go and try then - you won't see them again! But on a more serious note, if it's decided upon by both parties that it is what it is (a fling, a one night stand) then why need it be more complicated... Also, remember that you are not responsible for the feelings of others - only yourself. If you act with honesty and integrity in your actions (never pretending or promising more than you are or want) then how can anyone be angry with you? Well, if you wanted to see if a new local would help, when you are next down in my neck of the country – go and try then – you won’t see them again!

But on a more serious note, if it’s decided upon by both parties that it is what it is (a fling, a one night stand) then why need it be more complicated… Also, remember that you are not responsible for the feelings of others – only yourself. If you act with honesty and integrity in your actions (never pretending or promising more than you are or want) then how can anyone be angry with you?

]]> By: Mélanie http://attictales.com/2008/10/flinging-away-the-fling/comment-page-1/#comment-1333 Mélanie Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:27:17 +0000 http://attictales.com/?p=301#comment-1333 I'd say.. read "The Ethical Slut," a book recommended by the young and gorgeous lady I met last year around this time - remember sugarmamering - however we spelled that. It's about polyamory but I think it will help understand "flings" as well.. Sometimes I would be very attracted to a lady, and it just wouldn't click. Sometimes I would be very in need and not so attracted, I've learned that these nights would never be very satisfying in the end... I used to be attracted and fall in love (or lust?) but still keep looking around, flirting around.. until last April when I met someone special. I flirted with other girls but couldn't go any further, it just didn't feel right and I couldn't help but think of HER and want HER. I've never experienced that before, so I don't know.. Hope that helps, let me know what you think if you read the book ;) I’d say.. read “The Ethical Slut,” a book recommended by the young and gorgeous lady I met last year around this time – remember sugarmamering – however we spelled that.

It’s about polyamory but I think it will help understand “flings” as well..

Sometimes I would be very attracted to a lady, and it just wouldn’t click.
Sometimes I would be very in need and not so attracted, I’ve learned that these nights would never be very satisfying in the end…

I used to be attracted and fall in love (or lust?) but still keep looking around, flirting around.. until last April when I met someone special.

I flirted with other girls but couldn’t go any further, it just didn’t feel right and I couldn’t help but think of HER and want HER.

I’ve never experienced that before, so I don’t know..

Hope that helps, let me know what you think if you read the book ;)

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