Last weekend, I had the pleasure of going over to my lovely friends’ Caroline and Paryse’s house for a poker tournament. We were joined by six other gorgeous gals for a fun evening of drinking, eating, and card playing. Surprisingly enough, there were no bad renditions of Kenny Rogers’ tune The Gambler…and yes it’s because I wasn’t singing.
Here’s a mostly harmless observation for you: Fierce competitiveness amongst lesbians is not pretty. I’m all for friendly competition, light-hearted teasing, even boisterous bragging, but hard-core competitiveness is a huge turn-off. When women start to get overly testosterony (it’s a word you can use it) during any kind of sporting event or game, the event becomes less about having fun and more about catering to the ever so fragile ego. I know this because whether I’m playing badminton, poker, or The Great Brain Robbery, http://www.cheapass.com//boproductsardgames/cag028.html, I become an angry petty competitor…or in the case of the latter…an angry petty zombie.
I genuinely get upset if my victory is close at hand and I’m suddenly outwitted and outplayed, or worse if I’m the one who has made a mistake and suffered defeat due to my carelessness. Because this is something I’ve recognized in myself for years now, I’ve tried really hard to overcome my inner sore loser. I try to remind myself to have fun whenever I’m playing Hungry Hungry Hippo…er…I mean Chess. The results, I must confess, have been varied.
With some heavy duty sports, like bowling for instance, I’ve allowed myself to continue playing. However, when it comes to EVERY SINGLE board game on the planet, banishment has been necessary. Trust me, for as long as I can remember whenever I’ve landed in jail, unable to pass go, and unable to collect my $200.00, I’ve gotten pissed off. Expulsion has been the only option. It’s better for the people around me, not to mention my blood pressure.
Of course it goes without saying that I know unhealthy competitiveness isn’t just a lesbian trait. Sore losers can be found everywhere. Good sportsmanship on the other hand seems to be scarcer. Some of us seem to have forgotten the following (brought to you by dear old Wicki):
Good sportsmanship is:
- Full commitment to participation (e.g., showing up, working hard during all practices and games, acknowledging one’s mistakes and trying to improve);
- Respect and concern for rules and officials;
- Respect and concern for social conventions (e.g., shaking hands, recognizing the good performance of an opponent);
- Respect and concern for the opponent (e.g., lending one’s equipment to the opponent, agreeing to play even if the opponent is late, not taking advantage of injured opponents);
- Avoiding poor attitudes toward participation (e.g., not adopting a win-at-all-costs approach, not showing temper after a mistake, and not competing solely for individual prizes).
Now I write all of this, not to chastise you my lovely readers…but as reminder to myself…I really don’t want to give up poker nights. It’s enough that I had to give up singing The Gambler.
