Attic Tales

Welcome to the ninth edition of You didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway…a Q&A column where for the past few months you’ve been asking me questions pertaining to Montreal, my interfering in strangers’ lives, why I haven’t been updating as much, my webcomic Penis Schmenis, and…Katy Perry. As always, math questions are not welcomed.

 

Geneviève,

 

I read your last column We don’t need an Emo Hero and I think despite the fact you feel you’re being honest and decent with people in regards to telling the truth about how they live their lives, you should just mind your own business. I know that sounds harsh but think about it, if you do this, you won’t agonize about making anyone feel ‘emotionally raw’. It’s a win-win.

 

Silence is a virtue in Sydney, Australia

 

Holy Crap! People are reading my columns in Sydney, Australia! If I promise to mind my own business, can I come and visit you and crash on your couch? No? Sigh.

 

Here’s the thing…I think too many people mind their own business because they’re afraid of the consequences. Our loved ones might get angry, or hurt, or never speak to us again. On the other hand, maybe they’ll lean something valuable about themselves, a hard-earned truth that leads them to a healthier path.

 

So saying, you’re absolutely right. I do need to mind my own business, which is why I’ve come to a compromise with myself. If a person asks me for my opinion, I’ll give it, but no more unsolicited advice…unless my instincts are screaming out that I really need to say something. And since I’ve come to trust my instincts, I think I’ll take the risk of making someone feel emotionally raw. And instead of agonizing over my actions, I’ll write about what I did, and you can write in and chastise me..or threaten to spank me. Either way, it’s a win-win.

 

Dear Geneviève,

 

Where are the best places to pick up in Montreal?

 

Eager Beaver in Montreal

 

Seriously? Eager Beaver? I suggest you make a t-shirt saying EAGER BEAVER and walk around in the village with it…you’ll do just fine.

 

Dear Geneviève,

 

What do you think of Katy Perry’s song I Kissed A Girl?

 

I liked it in New Jersey

 

I like Katy Perry’s song Hot and Cold but I Kissed A Girl…not so much. I think it’s just because she makes it sound like it’s still a naughty thing to do…besides, I hate cherry flavoured anything.

 

Dear Geneviève,

 

Why haven’t you been updating on a regular basis? Instead of once a week, you’re posting every two to three weeks.

 

Sorry about that. Work has been using up all of my brain cells. I’ve been feeling uninspired and unmotivated. The good news is that spring has sprung, and with the smell of dog poop in the air, my creative juices are beginning to flow again. Ah dog poop…a wonderful muse.

 

Dear Geneviève,

 

Are you ever going to do more Penis Schmenis strips?

 

Wow! I haven’t posted anything since September. Shame on me! I’ll see what I can do in the next few weeks. The girls have been very quiet so I’ll see if I can poke and prod them…without them filing a sexual harassment suit.