Attic Tales

While I’m not the most successful person when it comes to relationships, I can however boast that I do have thriving friendships…even though I don’t always call you back Carly, or forget your birthday for the first time ever Marlene, or don’t hang out with you enough Mounir…um yeah…thriving friendships…yay me!

Here’s a mostly harmless suggestion: Be nice to people. I’ve been working in public relations since I was 22. I’m good at my job because I don’t bullshit my clients. They know WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET with me. But even before I started my career, I’ve always naturally been a people person. I like talking to people and connecting with them. I have a fantastic memory when it comes to remembering little details about a person’s life…whether it’s their birthdays, their political preferences, their allergies, their professions, their children’s names, and yes even their pets’ names. Except that one time when I forgot Jack’s name…sorry Jack!

So let’s say you have a horrible memory, does this mean you can’t connect with the masses? Absolutely not! I find that people in general treat me well because I’m respectful. As long as I’m consistent with these six steps, I get along just fine with most everyone…especially Jehovah Witnesses:

1. You had me at hello: Every day, I say good morning, hello, and goodnight to my work colleagues. Plus, I take the time to ask them how they’re doing and actually wait for a reply. Also, when I’m in a relationship, I always wish my partner sweet dreams…especially if she’s prone to having awful nightmares.

2. Everyone smiles in the same language: I smile a lot. I smile even more now that I’ve invested thousands of dollars in said smile. I find smiling is contagious. Once you start, it creates a whole chain reaction. It can of course also make people paranoid which can be fun when you’re on the metro and don’t want anyone sitting next to you.

3. People expect good service but few are willing to give it: I always ask people in customer service how they’re doing and wish them a good day. I especially make a point to do so when they haven’t done it to me. I remind myself that they might just be having a bad day. Of course, I recognize they might possibly be assholes…but I know where they work so I can have my revenge any time I want.

4. If the eye does not want to see, neither light nor glasses will help: Make eye contact. Again, this might cause paranoia in some people, but for most it’s a sign of respect. You’re letting them know that you’re giving them your full attention in that moment. Besides, dirty looks are more effective this way.

5. The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen: Another sign of respect is taking the time to actively listen to people. Ask them questions so you get more details and show you’re really interested in what they have to say. Plus, the more details you get, the easier it will be to blackmail them.

6. Sincerity is the highest compliment you can pay: Being the natural cheerleader that I am, I love complimenting people. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in creating a solid foundation for any relationship. It can also go a long way in getting into people’s wills.

Can we be nice all the time? Absolutely not! But at the end of the day, it’s good to know you’ve treated the people around you with respect and kindness. It’s also good to know that you’ve lessened your chances of having someone plant a bomb in your car.