Maybe…but look how happy the upside down octopus looks.
JANUARY:
The beginning of the year started off strong because I realized I had a whole new set of resolutions. The old set, resolutions that I had resolved to resolve, I had carried with me for over 15 years. I’m proud to say I finally dealt with them. Sure it took over a decade, but some things take more time…or I’m just a slow learner…albeit a happy one.
My new set of resolutions were as follows:
- Cook new recipes.
- Become even more environmentally friendly.
- Put aside more money in my savings.
- Find a new job.
- Put my comic book collection in order.
- Write a short movie about my dating nightmares.
- Read more books.
- Focus on my physical health just as much as I do on my mental health.
Lesson learned: It’s ok if it takes me 15 years to resolve these resolutions too.
FEBRUARY:
Studies have shown that this month is rather difficult for Canadians because we suffer from the Winter Blues. I know that this month was particularly rough on me physically and mentally. I wanted to eat and sleep ALL THE TIME. If I could have synchronized both activities…well…I would probably never have left the house. My energy levels were so low that instead of feeling like a 35 year old, I felt double my age.
Lesson learned: Even if it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to do, MOVE, MOVE, and MOVE. Get my ass off the couch.
MARCH:
In March I found out that my mother, whom I hadn’t seen in 15 years, was coming down to New Brunswick for my Grand Maman’s 80th birthday. It pains me to say that Freud, for certain theories at least, knew what he was talking about when it comes to having mommy issues.
My mother’s appearance after such a long absence broke my well constructed dam of repressed emotions and consequently a whole flood of anger, sadness, helplessness, and relief overwhelmed me. I was a mess.
Lesson learned: We can’t pick our family but through good and bad, we do learn valuable lessons from them.
APRIL:
After my mother’s visit, I had absolutely no control over my emotions. I would cry in the middle of a meeting at work, on the metro on the way home, at the cinema while watching a comedy. Every single emotional wall I had put up to cocoon myself from getting hurt had completely been destroyed. It was quite terrifying for someone who has worked so hard to be in control of her inner workings.
So saying, it was very therapeutic. After 15 years of thinking my mother didn’t want me in her life, I learned she loved me so much that’s why she kept me out of it. That’s not necessarily logical or rational but love very rarely is.
On the last day of April, while I was having another crying fit on my futon, I remember taking a big huge trembling breath and saying these words out loud so the Universe would know that I truly believed what I was proclaiming: “I’m ready for HEALTHY LOVE in my life.” The Universe believed me too.
Lesson learned: The Universe is a genius.
MAY:
On the 1st of May, I met a ray of sunshine who was in Montreal for only a few days to celebrate her 30th birthday. After a series of delightful outings that involved eating, dancing, and folk music, I realized I truly enjoyed her presence and would be sad to see her go. And despite my bringing up topics like Cheese Wiz and foot fungus, I’m happy to say she enjoyed my company as well.
Almost 8 months later, we’re still dating, and despite it being a long distance relationship, SKYPE has made our lives a lot easier.
Lesson learned: Falling in love is scary. Not falling in love is scarier.
JUNE, JULY, and AUGUST:
You don’t want me to bore you with the honeymoon phase of this relationship. Wait…I know you my lovely readers…you’re just as perverted as I am…but I still won’t bore you with the details. I will however say this:
Realizing that I was finally in an emotionally healthy relationship with an emotionally healthy person was enough to make me FREAK OUT in a major and profound way. Fortunately, I was able to express what was going on with me so that the Sunshine wouldn’t freak out too.
Lesson learned: You can’t go wrong with constructive communication.
SEPTEMBER:
This month was extremely challenging career wise. However, I’m proud to say I survived it and learned some very valuable lessons on how to manage a team. So saying, I still need a new job.
Lesson learned: I can play-up people’s strengths and avoid their weaknesses in order to get a job done.
OCTOBER:
During my last visit to Newfoundland, where the Sunshine lives, I recognized that I’m in an equal partnership. It’s nice to know I have someone who has my back, and knows that I have hers. I’ve never had that before.
Lesson learned: Equality in a relationship is extremely important.
NOVEMBER:
November was NaBloPoMo and I must admit was a LOT OF FUN for me. It was fun to share silly things about myself instead of writing about all the fucking freaking introspective thoughts I have on a daily basis.
Lesson learned: YOU’VE learned that I’m a NUTBAR.
DECEMBER:
I spent time with my family over the holidays. Genetically I have no choice but to be a nutbar because my relatives are insane in the membrane. And very very funny.
We’ve come up with a new family slogan: We’re impressed but we’re not proud.
Lesson learned: I’m impressed and proud to be part of this hilarious family.
All in all it’s been a very good year. The ultimate lesson I learned was that no matter how many times I do get it wrong, as long as I’m learning something, I am getting it right.
Your take on the octopus sums up your outlook on things.
It is perfect. You find the bright side of so just about everything!
…and usually have me laughing in the mean time!
You are a fabulous communicator! You articulate things so well and you are an amazing listener (listening patiently even through long monologues).
Oh, this threatens to sound too mushy so I will wrap it up…
You are an incredible woman Ms. Mostly Harmless!
Here’s to this Next Year!
xoxx
I’ll keep it short – on t’aime et pis on est fiere de toi… T’as tout les outils necessaire d’accomplir tout tes reves… La famille – ben, c’est ta famile – mais souviens de tout les qualites que tu possede…
Oooh and Sunshine is very cute – if we could, we would buy you a plane so you can visit her every weekend (pilot not included