A few weeks ago, my lovely friend Mélanie, whom I haven’t seen in a very very longtime, disagreed with me when I said in an earlier post that we couldn’t control with whom we fall in love/lust.
Mélanie said, “I believe love is something we can choose to act on or not, may that be pursuing it or creating that image of the other one. (You know when we get infatuated and keep thinking about the other one, what she said what she did, how pretty she is, how nice it would be to kiss her, etc, etc.)
Whatever it is we call love, I think it is rarely that “free-easy-going” unconditional love that comes without actions or fantasies.”
Needless to say this got me thinking…which is never a good thing.
When I look back at the people that I have loved, I always had the option to walk away before I ever became emotionally invested. But either hormones or my heart, and sometimes a combination of both, prevented me from doing so.
Which leads me to la question du jour: Do you think you can act on whether you should love/lust someone or not?
I think you can act on it or not… but I definetely don’t think you can control who you fall in love with or lust.
If this was true… well, straight people who think gay people have a choice to love a person of the opposite sex, would be absolutely right.
Love and lust are just about your and someone else’s body chemistry.. so if we as gay people have chemistry with members of the same sex, that means that we have chemistry with some people and not with some other and therefore we don’t choose who we love or lust.
I think we can act on it or not… but it’s hard. And i think that people who can judge on that so quickly, it’s because they haven’t had that intense feeling of love or/lust with the “wrong” person… easier said than done.