Every year on the 31st of December, I reread all my journal entries for the year to give myself an overall impression as to whether the past 365 days were mostly good ones or bad ones. It also helps me determine whether I’ve  learned anything valuable so that I can feel a little bit more wiser; or ask myself WTF I was thinking and then promise myself I shan’t repeat the same actions for the upcoming year.

As I was explaining to my Sunshine earlier today, most of my entries involved her and how happy I feel about the state of our relationship. I’ve always been very relationship-focused and not afraid to work hard to make things work. However, I have to say that it’s nice that I don’t have to work so hard at this one.

Thanks for that my Sunshine.

If there was anything negative that came out of 2010, it had to do with work. I pride myself on doing my job well but I need to consider that for other people, that’s just not a priority. I need to ensure that I don’t take their bad work ethics personally; their bad performance IS NOT a reflection on me.

So instead of having resolutions this year, I’d like to set myself some goals. Last year, I wrote a book for my godchildren. I gave it to them 2 weeks ago and I have to say that all the hours spent on writing, finding an acceptable format, searching for the right illustrations…all of the hard work was worth every second. It was priceless to see their happy little faces enjoy my gift to them and remind them that even though I’m far away, it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about them or love them any less.

All this to say is that the book distracted me from a project that I would really really like to get done this year: write and produce a short lesbian film based on my disastrous dating adventures.

Another goal I’ve set for myself is that I want to buy a house. If my promotion goes through in the next two months, then I will definitely start shopping around. The idea of putting myself in debt scares the bejesus out of me, but I think owning realty is a great long term investment.

My third goal is try out new recipes. I love to cook. I should be more adventurous and try new cuisines. I say this every year, but something tells me I’m going to stick with it for 2011.

Last but not least, I want to continue being active. I recognize that when I’m not doing any kind of exercise, I feel sluggish and sad.

Whether you decide to set goals, objectives, resolutions, or nothing at all; I wish for you only the best in 2011. May you have continued good health, moments of happiness, gratitude, and enlightenment, more money, and the ability to forgive not only the ones who have hurt you the most, but especially yourself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

]]> http://attictales.com/2011/01/changing-resolutions-to-goals/feed/ 0 http://attictales.com/2010/12/dear-santa-claus/ http://attictales.com/2010/12/dear-santa-claus/#comments Wed, 22 Dec 2010 03:47:29 +0000 GSGrenier http://attictales.com/?p=1354

• I’d like for us all to be able to let go of our emotional baggage.
• I’d like for us all to be able to truly forgive those who hurt us by taking the time to understand why they did it in the first place, or by accepting the fact that sometimes there is no answer, and we all have to finally just let go of the hurt, the anger, and the hope that they’ll one day make amends.
• I’d like for us all to be truly honest with ourselves no matter how heartbreaking the truth can be, because it will inevitably set us free.
• I’d like for us all to recognize that our most painful moments were the ones that taught us to see the world with wiser eyes.
• I’d like for us all to stop being so damn hard on ourselves and accept that we are indeed only human and perfectly imperfect.
• I’d like for us all to realize that we have incredible potential and can accomplish the most amazing things.
• I’d like for us all to see ourselves as a global community with common values rather than just as individuals with selfish wants.
  
• I’d like for us all to laugh more and with genuine mirth, not with cruelty or malice, and especially at ourselves.
• I’d like for us all to remember that water and food should not be taken for granted.
• I’d like for us all to have inner peace so that we can finally have world peace.
• I’d like for us all to step outside of our comfort zone at least once a day so we can make our zone a little bit bigger each time.
• I’d like for us all to stop taking things so personally.
• I’d like for us to really listen to what children have to say, to give them more hugs, more comfort, more compassion; more courage; more tolerance; more understanding; more love; and recognize this will make them stronger, not weaker.
• I’d like for us all to embrace love in all its healthy forms.
• I’d like for us all to realize we are worthy of love in all its healthy forms.

Merry Christmas lovely readers!

Genevieve xo

New discovery du jour: Katie West

How I choose my lovers

I find them on subways reading books I have on my list of Books To Read. I find them at bars dancing more enthusiastically than anyone else; even if they can’t really dance. I find them in line at the grocery store on a Friday night buying cookie dough, milk and that’s it. I find them in the Canadian poetry section of bookstores. I find them at work, having great ideas and wearing seasonal socks. I find them on the internet, creating things that make me wish I had thought of it first.

When I sit beside them, they smile. They’re easy to talk to. Their intelligence surpasses my own. Their vocabulary makes me swoon. Their brilliance with words makes me start to imagine them naked. They make me smile at a frequency I feel is too much for any respectable person, so I bite my lip in an effort to stop. After half an hour in their presence, my lips are sore, and yet I still wouldn’t refuse their kiss.

The way they see the world is very different from the way I see it, and we can share our views and always our eyes get wider. They listen to me. (So very few people actually listen to me.) They make me laugh; I make them laugh. We are at a party and they say something so beyond everyone else’s scope with an ease that makes me lean into them hard. But they do it softly, and gently, so no one feels inferior, instead we all feel better for having heard it. They argue with a grace that moves me. Between their legs. They are collaborative. They are receptive to constructive criticism. They think honesty is the best policy.

They touch me gently in all the right places at all the right times in ways that only make me imagine them touching me roughly in all the right places at all the right times. I mean, they place their hand on the small of my back as I walk through doors in front of them, which makes me think of their hand on the small of my back as I’m on all fours in front of them. They lean in and whisper things in my ear that are completely inappropriate at the absolute worst moments because they know it makes me crazy. They hold my hand like they mean it.

These are the sorts of people I choose as my lovers. You see how so much of what you fret about is non-existent in my process? Believe it’s true for others. And love you how I love you, okay?

One of my best friends Danielle sent me this…I thought I would share:

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I  wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more…

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Oof! Would you believe I almost forgot to post something tonight? If I had, I’d like to think I would have laughed at myself, and invited you to join in. It would have been a typical Genevieve thing to do.

So…30 days of blogging about anything and everything. Some serious subjects, some not so serious.

I’ve discovered that I can be very hard on myself when I can’t find a solution to a problem…whether it’s trying to figure out how to use Excel, or dealing with a work colleague’s bad behaviour.

I’m realizing that if I really take the time to think about something, without letting my own emotional responses get in the way, I’m able to see beyond BLACK and WHITE, and even GREY, and see the real colours behind everything. I’m becoming more of a big picture kind of gal.

I recognize that I get so caught up in my world of troubles that there are times where I really do forget just how truly blessed I am to have friends, family, and a girlfriend who love me for simply being me.

I also recognize that I really do need to take more time to appreciate not just the SILENCE, but all the beautiful moments in between.

At the end of the day, it’s so blatantly clear just how little I know, and just how much more I need to learn. Yet instead of being discouraged by this, I take heart that I at least want to learn, to think outside of my box, to experience new things, to push myself to be better. To do anything less would be disrespectful towards my Soul.

I must also remember that at the end of  the day, we are all perfectly imperfect, and there’s love, beauty, sadness, anger, happiness, laughter, and a certain amount of peace to be found in that state of being.

If I knew I only had 1440 minutes left on this planet I would:

• Thank my grandmother for her unconditional love.
• Spend a few hours with my  godchildren listening to them laugh.
• Have supper with all of my friends and tell each and everyone of them what I’ve learned from them so they don’t forget just how much they can contribute to life.
• Ask my friends to hold a party after I die, not a funeral.
• Write a few letters of forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me, not because I haven’t forgiven them already but so they’ll truly know I have.
• Look at what few regrets I have left and forgive myself.
• Acknowledge that I have done some good and be proud of my actions.
• Be grateful that I’ve been able to experience some truly beautiful moments in my life.
• Eat the best brownie ever.
• Drink the best wine ever.
• Have one last picnic in the park with my Sunshine with her head on my lap so I can play in her hair.

I wish that:

• We’d respect Mother Earth.
• All religions were banished and we focused instead on love and respect for one another.
• Everyone practiced safe sex.
• All little boys were taught to respect little girls and grew up to be men who respect women.
• Every single child on the planet would be safe from predators.
• We’d be honest with ourselves every second of the day.
• Big corporations weren’t about making profits but about making the world a better place to live in without hurting the environment and people.
• Our laws were more strict against rapists and better protected women and children.
• We recognized our insecurities and stopped ourselves from lashing out at others.
• We stopped saying we can’t and recognized we can if we only start to think outside our boxes.
• We think about how our ecological footprints will affect our great-great-grandchildren.
• We didn’t impose our physical and emotional well-being on those we love.
• We understood our differences and recognized we’re not so different after all.
• We realized that water is so much more precious than oil.
• We encouraged electric cars, solar and wind power, and more efficient ways of disposing of human waste.
• We had more doctors and therapists to help heal all the people hurting in the world.
• We stopped lying to one another when we’re feeling scared and vulnerable.
• We were more forgiving.
• The strong protected the weak and the weak learned to be strong.
• We all laughed at ourselves a lot more.
• We recognized that the elderly still have so much to contribute to the world.
• We didn’t see people for their race but for their integrity and values.

What do you wish for?

1. I’m getting white hair, eyebrows, and lashes.
2. I have discussions about the quality of my grocery store, and where the best deals on vegetables and fruits can be found.
3. I really want to take a nap every day around 3pm.
4. I will wear a tuque, gloves, scarf, tights, and a bulky jacket to stay warm at all costs and not care what I look like.
5. My godchildren will soon be taller than me.
6. I need 9 hours of sleep, and if I don’t get them, I just don’t bounce back like I used to when I was 20.
7. I think about my financial future.
8. I have to stretch every muscle before picking up anything heavy or I’ll re-pinch a weak nerve in my shoulder and have bad back pain.
9. I snap, crackle, and pop when I get out of bed.
10. My idea of a good time is hanging out with friends over a home-cooked meal.

How do you know you’re getting older?

I’d like to think I’m an open-minded person when it comes to sex. Friends can talk to me about their sexual identity or identities, their preferences, their kinks, their fetishes, their affairs, and their relationships; I am all ears. In fact, I cherish their stories; they serve as entertainment and as valuable lessons. However, as much as I try very hard not to be judgmental, I do have a very difficult time with polygamy.

My major issues are:

• Inequality between the sexes.
• Arranged marriages between old men  and teenage girls.
• Abuse and rape.
• Having 19 wives and over 100 children in a world that is already overpopulated.
• Forcing young boys and men out of the communities so there won’t be competition for the older men.
• Teenage pregnancies.
• The fact that the women can’t have more than one husband.

If polygamy allowed for multiple spouses regardless of gender; I’d encourage women everywhere to marry as many people as possible. I’d marry a lawyer, a doctor, a mechanic, a carpenter, an electrician, a plumber, a massage therapist, a nutritionist, a florist, a violinist, and a mime. Yes a mime! It takes courage and talent to be a mime dammit!

If I’m bringing up this topic it’s because of what is happening in Bountiful, British Columbia.

What do you think?

Should the law be struck down?

The company I work for is being bullied by the O.L.Q.F.

The mandate of the O.L.Q.F. is to ensure that organizations adhere to its French language policies.

We’ve explained a number of times that since 97% of our clientele comes from the United States, it would not be economically feasible for us to have all of our literature translated in French. We’ve also proven that most of our employees who work in our offices, over 80% are anglophones, and do not require their workstations to be in French. We’ve even shown that most of the phone calls we receive are from the United States, so it’s not necessary to have our phone messages be French first, English second, because our clients get frustrated and hang up when they hear a foreign language they don’t understand.

Logic has lost the battle.

Despite our best efforts to calmly and rationally explain why we haven’t made EVERYTHING French in our offices, we are now being forced to transform computers, software, phones, faxes, printers, signs, ads, invoices, and yes, even the employees into FRENCH.

Coming from New Brunswick, the only official bilingual province in Canada, and having one anglophone parent, and one francophone parent, I can honestly say that I hold both languages dear to my heart. I firmly believe all Canadians from a very young age should learn to speak both French and English, and if given the opportunity, why not a third one?

I also firmly believe that anyone wanting to move to Canada should be required to speak both languages, or taught classes to learn to do so. This will open up many doors for new Canadians wanting to find work and become valuable members of our society.

I recognize that when any language is in the minority it deserves to be protected. However, imposing a language on people isn’t the way to go about it. Especially if they’re older and feel they won’t pick it up quickly or well.

French in my opinion is a difficult language to learn. Just grammatically speaking, it’s the only one I know that has exceptions to the exceptions!

I say if the O.L.Q.F. wants people to learn French then they need to seduce them with the beauty of the language, the history, and the culture…and yes, the food and the wine! Their members can’t go around forcing a French keyboard and French software on an anglophone and expect that this will create feelings of warmth towards francophones. This will only cause even more animosity.

Bullying anyone into doing anything never has the desired results. Sure, people might listen to you but it’s because they have no choice, not because they respect you.

And let’s face it…to be a cunning linguist you need to practice. And if you’re forced into it…it’s not enjoyable for anyone.